Intro to 3 John: JERK IN the Church
- Thad DeBuhr
- Jul 22
- 8 min read
Before we dive into an introduction to the biblical book of 3 John, it's important to acknowledge a pervasive problem. This ancient letter reminds us that the issue of "jerks in the church" goes all the way back to the early days of Christianity! And before we get into the specifics of 3 John, we want to talk about your experiences. If you're still carrying anger, bitterness, or deep hurt from a church experience like this, please know that your story matters.
It's a tough truth, but sometimes, the deepest cuts come from within the church itself. And often, those who inflict the most pain are the very ones in positions of leadership: a pastor, an elder, or a well-meaning but hurtful lay leader. When someone you look up to, someone entrusted with guiding the flock, says or does something that wounds you, it carries a different kind of sting.
You've probably heard all the usual responses: "Everyone's just human," "God didn't hurt you, they did," or "That's not the real church." And while there might be a grain of truth in those statements, they rarely make the pain go away. It's just not that easy.
Being hurt by someone in church leadership can feel like a profound betrayal. These are the people we trust for spiritual guidance, for care, for setting an example of Christ-likeness. When they fall short, or worse, intentionally cause harm, it can shake your faith to its core, make you question your place in the community, and leave you feeling unseen, unheard, and not truly loved. To make matters worse, these hurts are often brushed aside, minimized, or even actively covered up by others trying to protect the church's image or the leader's reputation. This just piles on to the original pain, amplifying the sense that your experience doesn't matter.
Don't Suffer in Silence. Let's Connect.
We understand the unique pain that comes from church-related hurts because we've been there ourselves. We're not offering quick fixes, but we are offering compassion and empathy, and a listening ear. If you need someone to talk to, to share what you've been through, please reach out to us at YourJesusJourney@Gmail.com. Let's set up a time to connect.
And maybe you need more than just a listening ear. If you're ready to truly process and heal from these deep wounds, a professional Christian Counselor can be an incredible resource.
We're excited to share that we have a wonderful connection with a great Christian Counselor who's able to do in-person or online meetings. Meet Ron Detwiler. Ron has a fantastic track record of helping people navigate the path of healing from difficult church experiences. Don't hang on to that anger or bitterness anymore – reach out and get some help to process and heal. You can learn more about Ron's experience, counseling style, and read testimonials from past clients over on his website. Just click the Green Button below to visit his site and contact him to start your healing journey. Your future self will thank you so much!
INTRO TO 3 John: A Glimpse into Real Church Life
The Apostle John, one of Jesus' closest buddies, dealt with similar headaches way back when. And he wrote this short letter, 3 John, that speaks right to these kinds of situations. It's a quick read, but it packs a punch, offering some solid, no-nonsense wisdom for how we should treat each other, especially those who are serving God on the road, and how to spot folks who are more about themselves than about Jesus.
Think of 3 John as a peek behind the scenes of an early church, complete with its heroes and its troublemakers. John wrote this letter around 85-95 AD, when he was an old man, probably from Ephesus. He sent it to a good guy named Gaius, who was clearly doing things right.
Why John Wrote This Short Letter:
John had a few things on his mind:
To High-Five Gaius: First off, John wanted to give a shout-out to Gaius. This guy was a real gem. He was living out his faith, sticking to the truth, and most importantly, he was opening his home and his wallet to help out traveling preachers and missionaries. These folks were out there sharing the good news, often with nothing but the clothes on their backs. Gaius was a true partner in their work.
To Call Out a Bully Named Diotrephes: Then there was Diotrephes. This fella was a church leader, but he was more interested in being the big boss than serving. He was talking trash about John, refusing to welcome the missionaries, and even kicking people out of the church if they did show hospitality. Sounds familiar, right? John wasn't having any of it.
To Give a Nod to Demetrius: John also pointed to another guy, Demetrius, as an example of what a faithful servant looks like. He was basically saying, "Follow this guy, not Diotrephes."
How is 3 John Different from John's Other Letters?
John wrote a few other letters, 1 John and 2 John, but 3 John is a bit different:
1 John is like a big, serious talk about what it means to truly follow Jesus – knowing Him, living right, loving each other, and avoiding false teachings. It's for everyone.
2 John is a warning about tricky teachers who deny the truth about Jesus. It basically says, "Don't even invite them over for coffee!" It's probably for a specific church or group of believers.
3 John is personal. It's a letter from one man to another, dealing with real-life, nitty-gritty church problems: who to welcome, who to watch out for, and how to deal with difficult people in leadership.
What Got John's Blood Boiling?
The main reason John wrote 3 John was because Diotrephes was causing so much trouble. This guy was a nightmare. He didn't respect John's authority as an apostle, he was spreading lies, he was shutting down the mission work, and he was punishing anyone who tried to help out. John wasn't going to let that slide. He wanted Gaius to know he was on his side and that he'd be coming to sort things out personally.
What Do We Know About Gaius?
We don't know much more about Gaius than what John tells us in this letter, but what we do know paints a clear picture:
John loved him. John calls him "the beloved Gaius," which means they had a strong bond.
He was a straight shooter. He walked "in the truth" and lived out his faith genuinely.
He was a generous guy. This is the big one. He was known for his incredible hospitality, especially to traveling Christians who were strangers to him. He understood that supporting these folks was supporting God's work.
He was someone John trusted to stand up for what's right in his local church, even when things got tough.
So, as you read 3 John, think about how these ancient issues still pop up today. Who are you welcoming? Are you supporting those who are genuinely spreading the Gospel? And are you able to spot the "Diotrephes" types who are more about control than Christ? This little letter has some big lessons for us.
Want to watch the video version of the Daily Bible Podcast Episode that corresponds to this study guide? Here you go!
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU GROW AS A CHRISTIAN
Trying to figure out this whole Christian thing on your own can feel like trying to change a flat tire in the dark with no jack. It's just harder! So, why not grab some buddies and join a Journey Group? It's a place where you can talk straight, learn together, and help each other stay on track. We promise, no weird secret handshakes, just real talk about God's Word. To learn more about Journey Groups, get connected in one, or find out about starting your own, head on over to https://www.yourjesusjourney.com/journeygroups.
If you're tired of sifting through all the noise, you'll want to visit our website, YourJesusJourney.com, to learn more and grab our Free Resource, "Stop Reading the Bible Wrong: 7 Strategic Shifts that Change Everything." Just hit the Free Gift button at the top of the website, and we'll send you this game-changing E-Book today.
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EXCITING DREAMS TAKING SHAPE
From road life to dream home base! 🚚➡️🏡 After years of traveling, God led us to an incredible spot in Arizona to build a ministry hub & bless others. You won't believe how it happened! ✨ Watch our new video to see the first glimpse! 👇
For the past three years, Kaila and I have been living life on the road, exploring and serving wherever God leads us. It's been an incredible journey, but carrying everything we own and constantly navigating started us dreaming of something more: a home base. A place to lighten our load, simplify, and most importantly, create a space where we can truly bless others. This video is the first glimpse of that dream!
As full-time traveling missionaries and founders of YourJesusJourney.com, we live on a modest income, relying on the generosity of others to support our three-fold ministry vision: helping people understand the Bible in context, finding Christian friends, and equipping disciple makers. So, you might be wondering, how are we able to pursue something this ambitious? About a year and a half ago, Kaila’s beloved dad passed away. With his passing, Kaila inherited their expansive family home and horse property on the breathtaking North Shore of Lake Superior, in beautiful Ontario—the place she grew up, where she rode her first bike and horse, and learned to drive. After much prayer and seeking God’s guidance, we decided to sell the property. What you see here came as a result of that incredible blessing, and all the work unfolding in the next year or two will also be funded by it.
Ultimately, it’s all God’s money, God’s land, and God’s resources—we simply want to be faithful stewards, investing what He’s entrusted us with to serve our family, friends, and help countless others experience God and the lessons of the Bible in a whole new way. We prayed and searched high and low, from Texas to Idaho, and God consistently drew us back to this breathtaking location in Northwest Arizona. Imagine: a spot overlooking the world's densest Joshua Tree forest, just minutes from the Grand Canyon, with epic mountains in our backyard! Our deepest desire for this place is to be a haven for renewal. A spot where our kids can visit, Kaila's mom can stay, and friends can gather. But even bigger than that, it's a launchpad for new ministry—a place to invite people to rest, recharge, share meals, grow friendships, and truly be renewed in the desert sun. We're already dreaming of leading hikes, teaching Bible lessons, and hosting retreats.
There’s a lot of exciting work ahead, but we're stepping out in faith, trusting God every step of the way. We’re so excited to share this new chapter with our family, friends, and all of you! If you want to learn more about our ministry, please visit YourJesusJourney.com. And if you have any questions, or just want to send your prayers or encouragement, please fill up that comment section or reach out directly at YourJesusJourney@gmail.com.
We've journeyed through the Bible, verse by verse, for over 15 books now! We take each passage and break it down into easy-to-understand chunks of plain English. Along the way, we uncover fascinating historical details and explore the cultural context, truly bringing the scriptures to life in a way that resonates. Forget dusty footnotes and words that send you reaching for a thesaurus – we make God's Word approachable and meaningful for everyone. And because we know you're eager to dig even deeper, make sure to subscribe to the Daily Bible Podcast and catch the video podcast each day that complements these blogs!
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