How to Honor Christian Marriage in a Culture That Doesn't
- Thad DeBuhr
- Aug 25
- 9 min read
Hebrews Chapter 13, verse 4 and Genesis Chapter 2, verses 24 and 25.
The Main Message: Honoring marriage is a job for all Christians—not just those who are married. We are called to respect and protect God's design for it in a world that doesn't, and God is serious about it.
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Why does it even matter to honor Christian marriage?
Why does it even matter to honor Christian marriage? In a world where commitments are optional and relationships can be disposable, the idea of a lifelong, faithful partnership can seem outdated. But what if honoring marriage isn't just about following an old rule? What if it's a powerful way to live out your faith and show the world what God's love looks like? It's for this reason that honoring Christian marriage isn't just a priority for married people, but for all Christians. Your commitment to upholding the value of marriage, whether you are single, divorced, or married, is a powerful witness to God's design and a testament to the hope we have in Him.
In this study, we’ll talk about what a biblical marriage really is, the pressures the early church faced and what we encounter now, and finally, we'll get down to brass tacks about how you can honor Christian marriage with very practical, real-life scenarios to help you prepare for situations you might encounter.
Before moving on, pause and read through Hebrews chapter 13, verse 4 and Genesis chapter 2, verses 24 and 25 in a couple of different translations.
Choose two from this selection: NIV, NLT, ESV, NASB, NKJV
Setting the Scene: What God Thinks About Marriage
The author of Hebrews tells us, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous" (Hebrews 13:4). This isn't a random command; it's a reminder of God's original design. In Genesis 2:24, God establishes marriage as a sacred covenant where a man and woman "become one flesh." This phrase isn't just about a physical act; it's about a total, exclusive union—spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
This leads us to the ultimate payoff and goal of marriage in Genesis 2:25: "And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." This is the ultimate destination of a God-honoring marriage. It's so much more than physical nakedness; it's a picture of total vulnerability and complete safety. It means you can "bare it all"—your flaws, your fears, your past mistakes—and know that you are fully accepted and loved. It’s the ultimate safe relationship on earth, a sacred space where there is no need for pretense or hiding. This deep intimacy gives us a small but powerful glimpse into what our own relationship with Christ Jesus can be like, where we can be fully known by Him and feel no shame.
Why is being faithful and monogamous with your spouse a good idea? Because it's a reflection of God's faithfulness to us and His church. Ephesians 5 describes marriage as a picture of Christ and the Church. A faithful, monogamous relationship builds trust, security, and true intimacy, creating a safe place for a married couple to grow and thrive. When we are faithful to our spouse, we're not just following a rule; we're participating in a beautiful, God-designed institution that brings us closer to Him and to each other.
The Pressures They Faced, and We Still Face Today
The early Christian church lived in a Greco-Roman world that had a very different view of marriage and sexuality. The idea of lifelong, monogamous fidelity was countercultural, challenging the social conventions of the day.
The early Christians were under immense pressure to conform. Some likely argued that what they did in private didn't matter, but the New Testament writers push back on this. The author of Hebrews reminds them that their lives must reflect God's truth. They were engaged in spiritual warfare, not against people, but against a culture that devalued the meaning of marriage.
Today in 2025, we face many of the same problems. The concept of marriage is often seen as a temporary human institution for personal happiness, not a sacred covenant. The focus on "my" happiness and "my" needs can make commitment seem restrictive and outdated. This individualism leads to inevitable conflicts, and without God's grace and biblical principles, it's easy to see why so many marriages fail.
A Call to Action for All Christians
Honoring marriage isn't just an instruction for married people. It's a call for every Christian, whether you are single, married, divorced, or widowed, to value what God's word values.
For Married People:
Prioritize your spouse: Make time for regular dates, even if it's just a coffee on the porch after the kids are in bed. This is a good work.
Live out biblical principles: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Wives, respect your husbands. This isn't about gender roles but about the kind of love that reflects the image of Christ. It's the best way to build a healthy marriage.
Speak life over your marriage: Instead of complaining about your spouse to friends, praise and appreciate them. This helps build a good marriage.
For Single, Divorced, or Widowed People:
Pray for married couples: Actively pray for your friends' and family's marriages. This is a powerful way to show support and recognize the importance of the institution of marriage.
Speak well of marriage: When you hear others speak negatively about marriage, respond in a way that honors God's design. You can say, "It’s a lot of hard work, but I believe it’s a good gift."
Avoid gossip about others' marriages: Don't participate in conversations that tear down other couples. Be a person who builds up, not tears down.
Model purity: Regardless of your marital status, live a life of sexual purity. This honors God and shows the world that He has a better way. This is a powerful way to do good work in your christian life.
Real-Life Scenarios: Putting It into Practice
Sometimes it's hard to know what these action steps look like in a real conversation or situation. Here are some examples you might run into:
Scenario 1: You're out with a group of friends (both married and single), and someone starts to complain about their spouse.
Wrong way: You join in, adding a negative story about your own spouse or agreeing with the person's complaint. This tears down the marriage and makes it seem like a burden.
Right way: You could listen for a moment and then pivot the conversation. You might say, "You know, marriage can be tough, but I'm so grateful for my spouse. Just this morning, they did something really thoughtful for me..." or, "I'm so glad we're getting to do life together. I'm praying for you guys and your marriage."
Scenario 2: You're a single person, and a married friend is venting to you about their struggles.
Wrong way: You suggest they should just leave the relationship if it's not making them happy. This echoes the world's view of marriage as disposable.
Right way: You listen with empathy and then offer support that honors their marriage. You might say, "That sounds really hard. I'm so sorry you're going through that. I'm praying that God gives you both the strength to work through it, and I'm here for you if you need to talk."
Scenario 3: You're a Christian in your workplace, and a co-worker makes a joke about cheating on their spouse or a negative comment about marriage in general.
Wrong way: You laugh along or stay silent, allowing the comment to stand without challenge.
Right way: You don't have to be preachy, but you can quietly and kindly make a different statement. You might say, "That's a tough joke. For me, my marriage is something I take pretty seriously." Or, "I actually believe marriage is a really special thing." This plants a seed and shows your conviction without being judgmental.
No matter your status, honoring marriage is about living in a way that points back to God. It’s a bold and beautiful act of faith in a world that often gets it wrong.
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Grab Your Pen and Journal
Now, let's take a moment to personally process and apply what we've talked about. Get a pen and your journal, and reflect on these questions:
Thinking about Genesis 2:25, what does it mean for you to be "naked and not ashamed" with another person, either in a future marriage or in a deep, honest friendship? What walls have you built that might prevent that kind of intimacy?
Whether you're single or married, why do you think it's important for you to make honoring marriage a priority? What's one specific habit you can start this week to put that conviction into practice?
Reflect on a time you’ve been tempted to complain about or gossip about a marriage. What was the underlying motivation? How could you have responded differently to honor God and build up the person or couple?
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: My marriage is in a tough season. What's the best way to get through it?
A: The best way to navigate a tough season is not through your own understanding or own power, but through prayer and reliance on the Holy Spirit. You can't change your spouse, but the Holy Spirit can change you. Read marriage books from a biblical perspective and seek wisdom from older couples who have a healthy relationship.
Q: What is the meaning of marriage for a young christian?
A: For a young christian, the meaning of marriage is to showcase the kingdom of heaven on earth. It's not just a human institution for personal happiness but a partnership to glorify God. It's a great deal to get to share life with a partner.
Q: What's the biblical reason for a young man to be committed to his first marriage?
A: The biblical reason is to reflect the example of Christ's commitment to his church. Just as Christ is the head of the church, the husband is called to be the head of the home—not as a dictator, but as a servant-leader. A married woman should respect her own husband as she would the Lord.
Q: What about my own wife's needs? What does the Bible say about a good wife?
A: The Bible has a lot to say about a good wife and the interests of others. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as their own bodies. This leads to a deep unity and a healthy relationship. The fruit of the spirit—love, joy, peace—are essential for a good marriage.
Q: I've heard some say that marriage is an outdated concept for material things. Is that true? A: No, that's not God’s truth. The New Testament teaches that marriage is a sacred covenant. The beauty of marriage is found not in material things, but in a deeper understanding of God. This is the hope of glory for the Christian.
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Don't Go It Alone
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