Romans 11 and The Heartache of a Parent's Prayer
- Thad DeBuhr
- Jul 27
- 8 min read
For a lot of us who've given our lives to Jesus, there's nothing better than seeing our kids follow that same path. But for many others, watching your kids grow up and choose a different way can feel like a heavy weight. We pray for them, teach them, and try to live out our faith in front of them, yet they don't seem interested. This can leave you feeling like you failed, questioning if you even have the right to talk about God to anyone else.
Even Jesus himself, in his ministry, focused first on "the lost sheep of Israel" (Matthew 15:24 NLT). Yet, he didn't ignore a desperate Gentile woman from a place called Tyre and Sidon. She came to him, begging him to heal her daughter. While he first emphasized his primary mission was to the Jews, he was so impressed with her faith that he healed her daughter anyway. This shows us that while our focus is often on our own "household," God's heart is always open to anyone who comes to him in faith.
Setting the Scene for Romans 11: Grafting and God's "Unnatural" Grace
Back in the day, farmers had a common trick called grafting. They would take a good, cultivated branch from a healthy tree and attach it to a wild, untamed one. The goal was simple: turn the wild tree into a productive one. That was the normal way.
But in Romans 11:17-24, Paul turns this whole idea on its head. He says Israel is like the healthy, cultivated olive tree, and Gentiles—people who weren't Jewish—are like the wild olive shoots. Paul explains that God does something "unnatural" by taking those wild shoots and grafting them right onto the cultivated tree. This wasn't done to make the tree better; it was done to bring outsiders into the family and share in the blessing. It’s a perfect picture of God's amazing grace—salvation isn't something we earn or are born into. It’s a gift.
This "unnatural" grafting was a shocking reality for the early church. In Acts 10, a Roman officer named Cornelius, a man who worshipped God but wasn't Jewish, was told in a vision to send for the Apostle Peter. Peter, at the same time, had a vision where God told him not to call anything unclean that God had made clean (Acts 10:15 NLT).
This prepared Peter to step outside his comfort zone. When he arrived at Cornelius's house and preached the gospel, the Holy Spirit fell on Cornelius and his entire family. The Jewish believers with Peter were astonished that "the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on the Gentiles" (Acts 10:45 NLT). This was a real-life example of a wild shoot being grafted in.
The Hope of Jealousy: God's Plan for His People
Paul goes on to say in Romans 11:11-15 that one reason God brought in the Gentiles was to make His original people, the Israelites, jealous. The hope was that when the Israelites saw the blessings and joy of God's new family, they would want to come back.
As a pastor and a parent, this hits home for me. I often wonder, "If my own kids aren't interested in Jesus, should I even be telling anyone else about Him?" But Paul shows me that even God, the perfect Father, has kids who choose a different path.
And yet, in His grace, He keeps inviting others in, grafting them onto the family tree.
This "unnatural" act of inviting outsiders isn't a sign of giving up on those who left. It shows God's huge, all-encompassing love. It teaches me that I can keep sharing the gospel with others and investing in new people, and it doesn't mean there's no room for my own kids if they ever decide to come home to God's awesome family tree.
Questions for you to chew on and discuss:
How does the idea of God doing something "unnatural" to save people change how you see grace?
Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough to share your faith because of struggles in your own family?
How can a parent's faithfulness to God be a quiet witness to a child who's walked away?
How can you use the hope of "jealousy" from Romans 11:11 to guide your prayers for a loved one?
Modern-Day Application
If you're dealing with the pain of loving family or friends who aren't following Jesus, here are a few things to remember:
Stay True to Your Faith: Your relationship with God is the most important thing. Keep praying and living your faith with joy. Your life is a powerful testimony.
Pray with Hope: Don't give up on praying for your loved ones. Remember, God wants them to be saved even more than you do. Pray that they'll see God's love through you and others.
Keep the Door Open: Always love and talk to your family and friends without judgment. Show them that there's always a place for them in your life, and in God's. *Many Christians struggle with the idea of not calling sin sin with their kids or loved ones who are not following Jesus. But it's important to remember that it is God who convicts people of their sin. And parents who point out sin and God's laws to kids who aren't even following God just doesn't make sense. Why would someone want to know all the rules and regulations that Christians should know and follow if they are not interested in being a Christian? Our job is to invite people to come and meet Jesus and then trust that the same God who convicted us of our sin can handle things with our kids just as easily.
Focus on the Wild Shoots: Don't let your personal struggles stop you from sharing the gospel with others. Just as God keeps bringing new people in, you should too. This isn't a betrayal of your family; it’s an act of obedience and a reflection of God's heart.
Trust in God's Timing: Your job is to plant the seeds, but God's job is to make them grow (1 Corinthians 3:6). Trust in His perfect timing and plan.
Want to watch the video version of the Daily Bible Podcast Episode that corresponds to this study guide? Here you go!
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU GROW AS A CHRISTIAN
Trying to figure out this whole Christian thing on your own can feel like trying to change a flat tire in the dark with no jack. It's just harder! So, why not grab some buddies and join a Journey Group? It's a place where you can talk straight, learn together, and help each other stay on track. We promise, no weird secret handshakes, just real talk about God's Word. To learn more about Journey Groups, get connected in one, or find out about starting your own, head on over to https://www.yourjesusjourney.com/journeygroups.
If you're tired of sifting through all the noise, you'll want to visit our website, YourJesusJourney.com, to learn more and grab our Free Resource, "Stop Reading the Bible Wrong: 7 Strategic Shifts that Change Everything." Just hit the Free Gift button at the top of the website, and we'll send you this game-changing E-Book today.
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There's lots more to see and learn on our website, from our "what we believe" page to hundreds of blogs. We encourage you to swing on by and take a look around at www.YourJesusJourney.com!
EXCITING DREAMS TAKING SHAPE
From road life to dream home base! 🚚➡️🏡 After years of traveling, God led us to an incredible spot in Arizona to build a ministry hub & bless others. You won't believe how it happened! ✨ Watch our new video to see the first glimpse! 👇
For the past three years, Kaila and I have been living life on the road, exploring and serving wherever God leads us. It's been an incredible journey, but carrying everything we own and constantly navigating started us dreaming of something more: a home base. A place to lighten our load, simplify, and most importantly, create a space where we can truly bless others. This video is the first glimpse of that dream!
As full-time traveling missionaries and founders of YourJesusJourney.com, we live on a modest income, relying on the generosity of others to support our three-fold ministry vision: helping people understand the Bible in context, finding Christian friends, and equipping disciple makers. So, you might be wondering, how are we able to pursue something this ambitious? About a year and a half ago, Kaila’s beloved dad passed away. With his passing, Kaila inherited their expansive family home and horse property on the breathtaking North Shore of Lake Superior, in beautiful Ontario—the place she grew up, where she rode her first bike and horse, and learned to drive. After much prayer and seeking God’s guidance, we decided to sell the property. What you see here came as a result of that incredible blessing, and all the work unfolding in the next year or two will also be funded by it.
Ultimately, it’s all God’s money, God’s land, and God’s resources—we simply want to be faithful stewards, investing what He’s entrusted us with to serve our family, friends, and help countless others experience God and the lessons of the Bible in a whole new way. We prayed and searched high and low, from Texas to Idaho, and God consistently drew us back to this breathtaking location in Northwest Arizona. Imagine: a spot overlooking the world's densest Joshua Tree forest, just minutes from the Grand Canyon, with epic mountains in our backyard! Our deepest desire for this place is to be a haven for renewal. A spot where our kids can visit, Kaila's mom can stay, and friends can gather. But even bigger than that, it's a launchpad for new ministry—a place to invite people to rest, recharge, share meals, grow friendships, and truly be renewed in the desert sun. We're already dreaming of leading hikes, teaching Bible lessons, and hosting retreats.
There’s a lot of exciting work ahead, but we're stepping out in faith, trusting God every step of the way. We’re so excited to share this new chapter with our family, friends, and all of you! If you want to learn more about our ministry, please visit YourJesusJourney.com. And if you have any questions, or just want to send your prayers or encouragement, please fill up that comment section or reach out directly at YourJesusJourney@gmail.com.
We've journeyed through the Bible, verse by verse, for over 15 books now! We take each passage and break it down into easy-to-understand chunks of plain English. Along the way, we uncover fascinating historical details and explore the cultural context, truly bringing the scriptures to life in a way that resonates. Forget dusty footnotes and words that send you reaching for a thesaurus – we make God's Word approachable and meaningful for everyone. And because we know you're eager to dig even deeper, make sure to subscribe to the Daily Bible Podcast and catch the video podcast each day that complements these blogs!
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