When You Really Know God, It’s Easy for You to Pray
- Thad DeBuhr
- 1 day ago
- 15 min read
Study Guide: 1 John 5:13-17
Imagine two children standing outside their father’s office door.
One child is nervous. He wonders, “Am I allowed in? Is he too busy? Is he upset with me? What if I say the wrong thing?” So he stands outside, unsure whether he belongs there.
Another child walks right up and knocks. Not because he is rude. Not because he thinks he controls his father. He knocks because he knows his father loves him. He knows he is welcome. He knows his father may not always say yes to everything he asks, but he also knows his father will listen.
That is the kind of confidence John is talking about in 1 John 5:13–17.
John is not teaching believers to be arrogant. He is not saying we can boss God around. He is saying that when we know we belong to Jesus, we can come to the Father with trust. We can know we have eternal life. We can know God hears us. And we can care enough to pray for brothers and sisters who are struggling.
This passage is about confidence, prayer, and love that wants people to come back toward life.
As you go through the study guide, I would suggest reading or listening to the Bible passages in two different bible translations from this list: NIV, NLT, NASB, ESV, NKJV
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Setting the Scene
By the time we reach 1 John 5:13–17, John is nearing the end of his letter. He has spent the whole letter helping believers sort through confusion. Some people had left the church community and claimed to have deeper spiritual insight. They sounded confident, but they were wrong about Jesus and unloving toward other believers.
That left the people who stayed behind shaken. They may have wondered if they were the ones who had missed something. They may have wondered if they truly knew God. They may have wondered if they had eternal life.
John writes to steady them.
This is why verse 13 is so important: “I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.”
John does not say, “so that you may hope.”
He does not say, “so that you may guess.”
He says, “so that you may know.”
This confidence is not based on perfect behavior, strong emotions, or having every question answered. It is based on Jesus. In the verses right before this passage, John said, “Whoever has the Son has life” (1 John 5:12). Now he says he wants believers to know that this life really belongs to them.
The setting also matters. John is likely writing to believers in and around Ephesus, a major city in the Roman world. Ephesus was full of temples, idols, public pressure, trade, politics, and competing religious claims. Christians there were surrounded by voices telling them different stories about truth, life, power, and belonging.
So John keeps bringing them back to the center: Jesus is the Son of God, eternal life is found in Him, and believers can live with steady confidence because of Him.
Summary of the TEACHING
In this section, John moves from assurance to prayer. That connection matters. When you know you belong to God, you do not have to approach Him like a nervous outsider. You can come to Him like a loved child.
John is not saying prayer becomes easy because life is easy. He is not saying every prayer gets answered the way we hoped. He is saying confidence in Jesus changes how we pray, how we wait, and how we care for people who are caught in sin.
1. You Can Know You Have Eternal Life
1 John 5:13
John begins this section by telling us why he wrote the letter: “so that you may know that you have eternal life.”
That word “know” is important. John is writing to believers who had been unsettled by false teachers and painful division. He does not want them living in constant fear, wondering if they belong to God one day and doubting it the next.
This kind of confidence is not the same as pride. Pride says, “I am better than other people.” Christian confidence says, “Jesus is trustworthy, and life is found in Him.”
That distinction matters.
John has already made it clear that believers still sin and still need forgiveness (1 John 1:8–9). He has also said Jesus is our advocate, the One who speaks for us and stands with us when we sin (1 John 2:1–2). So when John says believers can know they have eternal life, he is not talking about people who never fail. He is talking about people who belong to Jesus.
The foundation of our confidence is not our record. It is Jesus.
2. Confidence Changes How We Pray
1 John 5:14–15
After telling believers they can know they have eternal life, John immediately talks about prayer.
He writes, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”
That is a beautiful sentence, but we need to read the whole thing carefully. John says we can approach God with confidence, but he also says our asking is to be “according to his will.”
That means prayer is not a magic button. It is not a way to control God. It is not a blank check where God promises to give us anything we want if we say the right words.
Prayer is trust.
Prayer is coming to the Father with open hands.
Prayer is bringing our needs, concerns, fears, hopes, and requests to God while trusting that He knows what is good.
A child may ask a loving parent for many things. A good parent listens, but a good parent does not say yes to everything.
Sometimes love says yes.
Sometimes love says no.
Sometimes love says wait.
Sometimes love gives something better than what was asked.
John wants believers to know that God hears them. That does not mean they control Him. It means they are welcomed by Him.
3. God Hears His Children
1 John 5:14–15
John repeats the idea of God hearing us. That repetition matters.
Many people struggle with prayer because they wonder if their prayers are going anywhere. They pray and then think, “Did God hear that? Did it matter? Was I just talking into the air?”
John says God hears His children.
That does not mean we always understand the answer. It does not mean we always get what we expected. It does not mean every prayer is answered on our timeline. But it does mean God is not ignoring us.
For people who feel unseen, unheard, or unsure, this is powerful.
The God who gives eternal life also listens to His children.
That means prayer does not begin with panic. It begins with trust.
4. Love Prays for People Caught in Sin
1 John 5:16
John then gives a very practical example of prayer. He says if someone sees a brother or sister committing a sin that does not lead to death, they should pray, and God will give life.
This is a striking instruction.
John does not say, “If you see someone sinning, talk about them.” He does not say, “Post about them.” He does not say, “Write them off.” He does not say, “Act shocked and superior.”
He says pray.
That tells us something important about Christian love. Love does not pretend sin is harmless, but love also does not rush to shame people. Love brings people before God. Love asks God to restore them. Love wants life, not destruction.
This fits the whole letter. John has repeatedly connected love for God with love for other believers. Here he shows us what that love looks like when someone is caught in sin.
We pray.
Not because sin is small, but because God is merciful.
Not because the situation is unimportant, but because God is the One who gives life.
Deep Dive Rabbit Trail: What Does John Mean by “Sin That Leads to Death”?
This is the hardest part of the passage. John writes, “There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that you should pray about that” (1 John 5:16). Then he adds, “All wrongdoing is sin, and there is sin that does not lead to death” (1 John 5:17).
Those words have troubled many Christians.
Some tender-hearted believers read this and immediately panic. They wonder, “Have I committed that sin? Did I cross some line? Is there no hope for me?” Others use the verse harshly, as if it gives them permission to decide who is beyond God’s mercy.
Both reactions miss John’s main concern.
John is not trying to terrify people who are grieving over their sin and turning back to Jesus.
He is not trying to give Christians a tool for labeling people as hopeless.
He is dealing with a very real problem in his churches.
Remember the context. Some people had left the Christian community. They denied the truth about Jesus. They rejected the message John and the other eyewitnesses had taught. They claimed spiritual insight while walking away from the Son, the only One who gives life.
Earlier in the letter, John said, “They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us” (1 John 2:19). He also warned about people who deny the Son (1 John 2:22–23). In 1 John 4:1–3, he said not every spiritual message is from God, and the main test is what that message says about Jesus.
So when John talks about “sin that leads to death,” the most likely idea is not one random mistake, one terrible failure, or a believer who is struggling but still wants mercy. In the flow of the whole letter, it most likely points to a hardened rejection of Jesus and a refusal to return to the source of life.
That matters because John has already made room for believers who sin and confess. In 1 John 1:8–9, he says if we claim we have no sin, we deceive ourselves. But if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us. In 1 John 2:1, he says he is writing so believers will not sin, but if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father: Jesus Christ.
So John cannot be saying that any believer who sins is hopeless. That would contradict what he has already said.
Instead, he seems to be warning about a settled, hardened, ongoing rejection of Jesus. This is not someone stumbling and wanting to come home. This is someone refusing the Son and rejecting the only One who gives life.
Think about it this way. If life is found in the Son, then rejecting the Son is rejecting life. John just said in 1 John 5:12, “Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.” That is the line running underneath this whole section.
This does not mean we should quickly decide who is beyond hope. We are not God. We cannot see the whole heart. We do not always know what God may still do.
So how do we apply John’s guidance today?
First, we should not use this verse as an excuse to stop praying for people too quickly. John’s main command in this passage is to pray for brothers and sisters caught in sin. The warning about sin that leads to death is not meant to cancel the larger call to prayer, mercy, and concern.
Second, we should not use this verse to terrify sensitive believers. If someone is worried they have committed the sin that leads to death, grieving over sin, wanting forgiveness, and turning toward Jesus, that very concern is a sign they are not hardened in the way John is describing. A hard heart usually is not worried about being hard.
Third, we should take seriously the danger of rejecting Jesus. John is not casual about this. Walking away from the Son is not a small thing. If life is found in Jesus, then refusing Jesus is spiritually deadly.
Fourth, we should learn to pray with humility. There may be situations where someone has become so hardened, so resistant, and so set against Christ that John does not give the same kind of prayer instruction. But even then, this is not about hatred or revenge. It is about recognizing that a person who rejects the source of life is in deadly danger.
A helpful way to say it is this: John is not telling us to stop caring. He is telling us to understand the seriousness of rejecting Jesus.
For everyday church life, the main takeaway is clear: when we see a brother or sister caught in sin, our first response should be prayer that seeks their restoration and life.
5. All Sin Is Serious
1 John 5:17
John does not want anyone to minimize sin, so he says, “All wrongdoing is sin.”
That sentence keeps us balanced.
Yes, John makes a distinction between sin that leads to death and sin that does not lead to death. But he does not say some sin is no big deal. All wrongdoing matters.
Sin damages relationships. It lies about God. It hurts people. It pulls us away from love. It can grow if left hidden. It needs to be brought into the light.
At the same time, John does not want believers to live in panic. The Christian response to sin is not denial, despair, or pride. It is honesty, confession, prayer, and return.
Grace does not make sin small. Grace gives us a way back to life.
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Why We Look at "Wrong" and "Right" Applications
This passage needs careful application because it touches several sensitive areas: assurance, prayer, sin, and spiritual danger.
If we apply it wrongly, we can turn assurance into arrogance, prayer into a way of controlling God, or the warning about sin into a source of fear for tender-hearted believers.
If we apply it rightly, this passage gives us deep comfort and practical wisdom. It teaches us that believers can know they have eternal life, can pray with confidence, and can respond to sin with both seriousness and hope.
John is not trying to make shaken believers more anxious. He is trying to help them become steady.
❌ APPLYING IT WRONG
One wrong way to apply this passage is to think assurance means pride. John is not saying believers should act superior or look down on others. He is saying they can trust what God has given them in Jesus. Real assurance should make us humble, grateful, and steady, not proud.
Another wrong way is to treat prayer like a vending machine. Some people read “ask anything” and forget the phrase “according to his will.” John is not teaching us to demand whatever we want from God. He is teaching us to come to the Father with confidence and trust.
A third wrong way is to assume God only hears impressive prayers. John does not say God hears us because we use the right words, pray long enough, or sound spiritual enough. He says God hears His children. The confidence is in the relationship, not the performance.
Another wrong way is to turn the “sin that leads to death” into a fear trap. Many sincere Christians have worried they committed this sin because they had a bad thought, went through a dark season, or struggled with repeated failure. But John has already made room for believers who sin, confess, and need Jesus. He is warning about hardened rejection, not a struggling believer seeking mercy.
A final wrong way is to use this passage as permission to give up on people. John’s main instruction is to pray for brothers and sisters caught in sin. We should be very slow to decide someone is beyond prayer. That is not our place to rush into.
✅ Applying it the Right Way:
The right way to read this passage is to begin where John begins: with Jesus.
John wants believers to know they have eternal life because life is found in the Son. Assurance is not built on mood, performance, or spiritual comparison. It is built on belonging to Jesus.
This passage also teaches us to pray with confidence and humility at the same time. Confidence means we know God hears us. Humility means we do not try to control Him. We ask according to His will, trusting that His wisdom is better than ours.
When it comes to sin, this passage teaches us to be both honest and hopeful. We should not pretend sin is harmless. John says all wrongdoing is sin. But we also should not respond to sin with shame, gossip, or despair. If a brother or sister is caught in sin, love moves us to pray.
It also helps to remember the historical setting. John is writing to people who had been hurt and confused by false teachers who left the community and rejected the truth about Jesus. The warning about sin that leads to death makes the most sense in that setting. It is not mainly about a believer who stumbles and wants forgiveness. It is about the deadly danger of rejecting the Son.
For modern readers, the application is clear: trust Jesus, pray with confidence, take sin seriously, and care enough to pray people back toward life.
Questions to Chew on and Discuss:
These questions are designed to help you personally dig deeper into the passage and help guide your discussions in your Journey Groups and Me & 3 small groups.
The Facts (What Does It Say?)
According to 1 John 5:13, why did John write this letter to believers?
What does John say about prayer in 1 John 5:14–15?
What does John tell believers to do when they see a brother or sister caught in sin?
The Meaning (What Does It Mean?)
What is the difference between confidence in Jesus and spiritual arrogance?
What does it mean to ask God for something “according to His will”?
Why is it important to read “sin that leads to death” in the context of the whole letter?
The Heart (What Am I Hearing?)
Do you find it easy or hard to believe that you can know you have eternal life? Why?
When you pray, do you usually feel welcomed by God, unsure, distracted, or afraid?
Is there someone you have judged, avoided, or talked about when God may be calling you to pray for them?
The Hands (What Will I Do?)
What is one prayer you need to bring to God with open hands this week?
What is one way you can respond to someone’s struggle with prayer instead of gossip or shame?
What is one sin or struggle you need to bring into the light instead of hiding?
Journey Group OR ME & 3 Small Group Discussion Starters:
Whether you're helping facilitate a small group, talking about this passage one-on-one with a friend, or even just need a topic to guide the conversation at the dinner table, these ideas can help start a good group conversation before you dive into the passage and questions in this study guide.
Discussion Starter 1
John says believers can know they have eternal life. What makes that hard for people to believe, even after they have followed Jesus for years?
Discussion Starter 2
What would change in a church community if our first response to someone’s struggle was prayer instead of gossip, panic, or shame?
🧩 SUM IT UP
John wants shaken believers to become steady believers.
If you belong to Jesus, you do not have to live in constant fear about whether you have eternal life. You can know.
That confidence changes how you pray. You can come to God knowing He hears you, while still trusting His will more than your own.
And that confidence changes how you treat others. When a brother or sister is caught in sin, you do not rush to shame them, ignore the problem, or give up on them. You pray for life, mercy, and restoration.
The goal of this passage is not panic.
The goal is confidence in Jesus, honest prayer, and love that helps people come back toward life.
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