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Be Careful Who You Follow

Updated: 2 days ago


Study Guide: Philippians 3:17 - 4:1


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There are people you can listen to for hours and learn almost nothing about how to actually live.


Then there are people you can spend a weekend around and learn a ton without them ever sitting you down for a lesson.


You watch how they treat their spouse. How they respond when plans fall apart. How they talk about people who aren't in the room. How they handle money. How they treat the waitress. What happens when they're tired, frustrated, overlooked, or inconvenienced.


And you think:

I want to become more like that.


That's where Paul takes us next in Philippians.


He has spent the last several verses talking about knowing Jesus, refusing to live in the past, continuing to grow, and pressing forward.


Now he basically says:

If you want to know what that looks like, watch people who are actually doing it.


But Paul also gives a serious warning.


Because everybody is following somebody.


And eventually, the people you follow becomes the direction you travel.

Setting the Scene


Paul has just said:

“I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”— Philippians 3:14 NLT


Then he tells the Philippians to keep living according to what they've already learned.


That thought continues directly into verse 17.


Remember where these people live.


Philippi is a Roman colony. Roman identity is a big deal there. Many residents are proud of their connection to Rome. Roman citizenship comes with status, privilege, protection, and a sense of belonging to something much bigger than their little city.


That makes what Paul is about to say especially powerful.


He is going to talk about who they imitate, where their loyalty lies, what kind of future they're living toward, and where their true citizenship is found.


This isn't Paul suddenly jumping to another topic.


It all fits together.


He's asking:

If you belong to Jesus, what should your life actually look like while you wait for Jesus to finish what He started?


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First read it in NASB or NKJV, then read it again from a NLT, NIV or ESV Bible.

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Walking Through the Text



“Pattern Your Lives After Mine” — Philippians 3:17

“Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example.”— Philippians 3:17 NLT

At first, that can sound pretty arrogant. Imagine somebody walking into church and announcing, “Everybody should live like me.” Most of us would immediately get nervous.

But that isn’t what Paul is saying. Just a few sentences earlier, Paul admitted that he had not arrived and still had plenty of growing to do. So when he says, “Pattern your lives after mine,” he isn’t saying, “Look at me because I’ve got everything figured out.” He’s saying, “Look at the direction I’m going.”


Paul is following Jesus. He’s still learning, changing, and moving forward. And he tells them there are other people doing the same thing, so watch them too.


That matters because following Jesus was never meant to be learned only by gathering information. We need real people who show us what it looks like when the alarm goes off Monday morning and real life begins. We need to see how someone forgives when they’ve actually been hurt, handles conflict without tearing people apart, stays faithful when life gets hard, treats their spouse, handles money, admits when they’re wrong, serves when nobody notices, and keeps following Jesus year after year.


We don’t just need teachers we can hear. We need people we can watch.



Everybody Is Being Shaped by Somebody

Paul’s words may be even more important today because we have more voices influencing us than almost any generation before us.


Think about how many people speak into your life every week. YouTube creators, podcasters, news personalities, politicians, celebrities, pastors, authors, friends, coworkers, Facebook posts, TikTok videos—the list never ends.


And here’s what makes that dangerous:


You don’t have to call someone your teacher for them to be teaching you.


If you listen to somebody long enough, watch them long enough, admire them long enough, and repeat their ideas long enough, they will begin shaping the way you think. Eventually, they may even begin shaping what you want, what makes you angry, what you fear, what you value, and what you think a successful life looks like.


So the question isn’t simply, “Am I getting good Christian information?” A much better question is, “Who am I becoming like?”


Look carefully at the people you admire and listen to most. Then look beyond their words and ask where their lives are actually headed.


Because direction matters.



“I’ve Told You This Before” — Philippians 3:18

“For I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes...”— Philippians 3:18 NLT

Those last few words matter. Paul is crying.


He isn’t an angry preacher who enjoys pointing out everything wrong with everybody else. He is heartbroken because he sees people moving in a direction that will eventually destroy them.


That tells us something important about warning people. Truth matters. Sometimes somebody really does need to hear, “The road you’re on is dangerous.” But the heart behind the warning matters too.


There is a huge difference between looking at somebody and thinking, “What an idiot,” and looking at the same person and thinking, “This breaks my heart because I know where this road leads.”


Paul isn’t enjoying anybody’s failure. He’s grieving it.


Christians can sometimes become strangely excited about pointing out everything wrong with the world, another church, another Christian, or another group of people. Paul gives us a much better picture.


You can strongly disagree with the direction someone is going and still genuinely care about them.



“Their Conduct Shows They Are Really Enemies” — Philippians 3:18

“There are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ.”— Philippians 3:18 NLT

Notice what Paul tells the Philippians to look at: their conduct. In other words, watch how they actually live.


We can’t be completely certain who every person in this group was. Paul doesn’t give us enough information to build a detailed profile. But his larger point is clear. There were people whose lives were moving in the opposite direction from the way of Jesus.


That’s important because the cross isn’t simply something Christians believe happened a long time ago. The cross shows us a completely different way to live.


Jesus humbled Himself. He served. He gave Himself for others. He obeyed the Father even when obedience cost Him dearly. Paul has already spent much of Philippians 2 showing us this.


So someone can say all the right things about Jesus while living in a direction that looks nothing like Jesus.


That gives us an important warning when deciding who deserves influence in our lives. Don’t just listen to what somebody says about Jesus. Watch what following them is producing in their life.


Your mouth can say, “Jesus,” while your life keeps saying, “Me.”


Eventually, those two directions collide.



“They Are Headed for Destruction” — Philippians 3:19

“They are headed for destruction.”— Philippians 3:19 NLT

Paul believes roads actually go somewhere.


That sounds obvious, but it cuts against a message we hear all the time: “Just do whatever feels right to you.”


Paul would ask a different question: “Where will that road eventually take you?”


Not everything that feels good today produces something good tomorrow. Anybody who has lived very long knows that.


A lie makes the next lie easier. A small compromise can become a pattern. A selfish choice can become a selfish way of living. A grudge can slowly harden into bitterness. A habit can become an addiction. One dishonest decision can eventually become the way somebody runs their entire business.


Most people don’t wake up one morning and decide, “Today I’m going to wreck my life.”

Usually it happens one choice at a time.


That’s why Paul cares so much about direction and why the people we follow matter so much.


Direction eventually becomes destination.



“Their God Is Their Appetite” — Philippians 3:19

“Their god is their appetite...”— Philippians 3:19 NLT

Paul isn’t simply talking about eating too much. He’s describing people whose wants and desires are running their lives.


The basic attitude is, “I want it, so I should have it.”


That sounds remarkably modern. We live in a culture that often treats desire like an instruction. If I want something badly enough, it must be good. If something feels right to me, I should do it. If saying no to myself makes me uncomfortable, then something must be wrong.


Jesus teaches us something very different.


Not everything I want deserves to be obeyed.


Sometimes following Jesus means telling yourself no. No, I’m not going to say that. No, I’m not clicking on that. No, I don’t need to buy that. No, I’m not going to feed that anger. No, I’m not going to sleep with that person. No, I’m not going to make this decision simply because it benefits me.


That doesn’t mean every desire is bad. It means our desires are terrible masters.

One sign that Jesus is changing us is that what we want no longer gets the final vote. Jesus does.



“They Brag About Shameful Things” — Philippians 3:19

“They brag about shameful things...”— Philippians 3:19 NLT

Human beings have always been surprisingly good at celebrating things that are hurting us.

We rename them. We excuse them. We laugh about them. We brag about them. Sometimes we even build our identity around them.


Paul isn’t giving Christians permission to become smug, finger-pointing people who walk around looking for everybody else’s sins. Remember, he is saying all of this with tears in his eyes.


But caring about people doesn’t require pretending that everything they do is good.

Following Jesus means we allow Jesus to define what is good, even when the people around us disagree. And sometimes, if we’re being truthful, even when we don’t particularly like His answer.



“They Think Only About This Life Here on Earth” — Philippians 3:19

“They think only about this life here on earth.”— Philippians 3:19 NLT

This gets to the heart of the problem.


Their whole world has shrunk down to what they can get right now: more money, more comfort, more pleasure, more attention, more stuff, more status, more control.

None of those things is automatically evil. Having money isn’t evil. Enjoying life isn’t evil.


Being comfortable isn’t evil.


The problem comes when this life becomes the whole story.


Paul has already told us that he is living toward resurrection. His horizon stretches beyond this week, retirement, his bank account, his reputation, and even his own death.


That changes how he lives right now.


If this life really is all there is, then grabbing everything you can while you can starts to make some sense. But if Jesus really rose from the dead, if He really is King, and if resurrection really is coming, then suddenly there are much bigger things worth living for.



“We Are Citizens of Heaven” — Philippians 3:20

“But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives.”— Philippians 3:20 NLT

This sentence would have hit especially hard in Philippi because Philippi was a Roman colony.


People there lived hundreds of miles from Rome, but Roman citizenship was a big deal. Rome shaped their laws, loyalties, culture, identity, and way of life. They were supposed to represent Rome right where they lived.


That background helps us understand what Paul means by “citizens of heaven.”

He isn’t saying, “This earth doesn’t matter, so just hang on until you die and escape to heaven.”


Think of it more like Philippi and Rome. The Philippians didn’t spend their lives thinking, “Someday we can finally leave Philippi and move to Rome.” They were expected to live as Roman citizens in Philippi.


Paul takes that familiar picture and turns it toward Jesus.


Our King is in heaven. Our deepest loyalty is to Him. Our identity comes from Him. And we are learning to live under His rule right here, right now.


That fits perfectly with the way Jesus taught His followers to pray:

“May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.”— Matthew 6:10 NLT

We belong to King Jesus now, so we begin learning His way of life now.



Citizenship Means Loyalty

For the people in Philippi, citizenship wasn’t simply an address on a piece of paperwork. Citizenship said something about who you belonged to and whose authority you lived under.

That makes Paul’s language about Jesus incredibly important.


Calling Jesus Lord wasn’t just a nice church phrase. It was a statement of loyalty. Rome had its rulers and claims of authority, but Paul’s deepest allegiance belonged somewhere else.

Jesus is Lord.


We face different competing loyalties today. Career can become one. Money can. Politics can. National identity, comfort, success, family expectations, personal freedom, or even church traditions can become so important that they begin occupying a place they were never meant to have.


None of that means a Christian can’t love their country, work hard, participate in politics, enjoy success, care deeply about family, or value freedom.


It means none of those things gets the throne.


Jesus does.


When our loyalty to anything else collides with our loyalty to Jesus, Jesus wins.



“We Are Eagerly Waiting for Him” — Philippians 3:20

“And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior.”— Philippians 3:20 NLT

Notice which direction Paul describes.


Jesus comes.


Sometimes Christians have reduced our future hope to something like this: Get saved, make it through life, die, and go somewhere else.


Paul’s picture is much bigger than that.


His hope is centered on Jesus returning and finishing what He started. God hasn’t given up on His creation. Jesus is coming to put things right, and His resurrection is the beginning of what God intends to do on a much larger scale.


That’s why Paul can face prison, suffering, uncertainty, and even death without losing hope. His future doesn’t depend on squeezing everything possible out of this life before it ends.

He is waiting for the King.


And that leads directly into what Paul says next.



“He Will Take Our Weak Mortal Bodies...” — Philippians 3:21

“He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own...”— Philippians 3:21 NLT

This is resurrection.


Paul’s hope isn’t that our bodies are temporary junk and the spiritual part of us will eventually escape them.


God created human beings with bodies. Jesus really died, and Jesus really rose. Paul believes Jesus will one day transform our weak, aging, broken, dying bodies to become like His resurrected body.


That means Christianity isn’t about God throwing away His damaged creation.


God intends to restore what sin and death have damaged.


Your body matters. What you do with your body matters. How you treat somebody else’s body matters. The physical world God created matters.


God’s answer to broken creation isn’t simply, “Throw it away.”


His answer is resurrection.



Jesus Has the Power to Finish This — Philippians 3:21

“He will do this using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control.”— Philippians 3:21 NLT

Think about where Paul is when he writes that.


He’s a prisoner.


Rome looks powerful. Caesar looks powerful. The empire looks permanent. Paul, by comparison, looks pretty insignificant.


But Paul sees reality differently.


Rome does not get the final word. Caesar does not get the final word. Death itself does not get the final word.


Jesus does.


The same Jesus who got hold of Paul is powerful enough to finish what He started. That’s why Paul can keep going even when his circumstances look terrible.


His hope doesn’t depend on everything working out the way he wants.


His hope depends on who Jesus is.



“Therefore... Stay True to the Lord” — Philippians 4:1

“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stay true to the Lord.”— Philippians 4:1 NLT

The chapter number can make this feel like the beginning of a new subject, but it really isn’t. The word “therefore” ties everything Paul has just said together.

  • Because Jesus is King, stay true to Him.

  • Because your deepest citizenship belongs to His Kingdom, stay true to Him.

  • Because Jesus is coming back, stay true to Him.

  • Because resurrection is real and death doesn’t get the final word, stay true to Him.


Paul is telling these people to plant their feet. Don’t drift just because the culture around you is moving in another direction. Don’t trade Jesus for something easier. Don’t let your appetite become your boss. Don’t let pressure decide what you believe. Don’t let some other person, political power, cultural movement, desire, or identity claim the loyalty that belongs to Jesus.


And that brings the whole passage back to where Paul started.


Pay attention to who you follow.


Watch where their life is going. Watch what controls them. Watch what they love. Watch what they’re becoming. Find people whose lives keep pointing you toward Jesus, and become that kind of person for somebody else.


Because everybody is following somebody.


Make sure the people you follow are taking you toward Jesus. 




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Why Context Changes Everything



Logo with open book over ancient ruins and modern city skyline; text reads CONTEXT CHANGES EVERYTHING in navy and gold.

It would be easy to pull a few lines from this passage and make Paul say something he never intended. “Follow my example” could sound like hero worship. “Enemies of the cross” could become an excuse to attack people we disagree with. “Citizens of heaven” could sound like this world no longer matters.


But those ideas don’t fit the story Paul has been telling.


Throughout Philippians, Paul has shown us what following Jesus actually looks like. Jesus humbled Himself and served others. Timothy genuinely cared about people. Epaphroditus risked his life serving others. Paul gave up trusting his impressive religious résumé, admitted he still had growing to do, and kept moving toward Jesus.


Now Paul is saying, “Look for people headed in that same direction. Watch how they live and learn from them.”


The contrast isn’t between good church people and all the terrible people outside the church. It’s between two directions for a human life. One is built around what I want, what makes me comfortable, what benefits me, and what builds my little kingdom. The other begins with a much different decision: Jesus is Lord, I belong to Him, and I’m learning to live His way.


That’s why who you follow matters. The people you follow can quietly help determine which direction your life takes.


Applying It Wrong


Don’t Use This Passage as Ammunition

Paul calls some people “enemies of the cross,” but notice how he says it: with tears in his eyes. He isn’t enjoying their failure or using their mistakes to make himself look better. He is heartbroken over where their lives are headed.


If this passage makes us excited to point fingers at everybody else, we’ve missed Paul’s heart. Warning people and loving people are not opposites. Paul does both at the same time.



Don’t Use Heaven as an Excuse to Ignore Earth

When Paul says we are “citizens of heaven,” he isn’t saying, “Earth doesn’t matter because someday we’re leaving.” He is reminding them where their deepest loyalty belongs.

Jesus is their King, so they are supposed to live under His leadership right where they are. Citizenship in heaven should change how we live on earth, not make us care less about it.



Don’t Blindly Follow Christian Leaders

Paul isn’t saying, “Find a Christian leader you admire and copy everything they do.” Paul himself has just admitted that he hasn’t arrived.


People are worth following when the direction of their lives points toward Jesus. Watch their character, choices, priorities, relationships, and what their lives are producing. Jesus—not a pastor, teacher, author, celebrity, or influencer—remains the standard.


Applying It Well


Pay Attention to Your Own Direction

Before using this passage to evaluate everybody else, use it as a mirror. Look at your actual life and ask what is really driving it.


What gets your time? What gets your money? What gets your attention? What makes you angry? What are you chasing? What happens when something you really want conflicts with what Jesus teaches?


Your answers may reveal more about the direction of your life than simply saying, “I’m a Christian.”



Choose Your Influences Carefully

You don’t have to personally know someone for them to influence you. The people you listen to, watch, admire, and repeatedly allow into your head can slowly shape what you value and who you become.


So don’t only ask, “Do I like this person?” Ask, “Where is this person's life pointing, and if I keep following their example, where might it take me?”



Become Someone Worth Following

Paul’s challenge eventually turns back on us because somebody may already be watching our lives—our children, grandchildren, friends, coworkers, neighbors, or people in our group.


You don’t have to be perfect. Paul wasn’t.


But the direction of your life should increasingly make it possible to say:

“I’m still learning. I’m still growing. But I’m following Jesus. Come walk this direction with me.”



Questions to Chew on and Discuss:


These questions are designed to help you personally dig deeper into the passage and help guide your discussions in your Journey Groups and Me & 3 small groups.


Looking Closer

What do you notice?

  • What does Paul tell the Philippians to watch in other believers besides what they teach?

  • What four things does Paul say about the people whose lives are headed the wrong direction in verses 18–19?

  • What does Paul say Christians are waiting for, and what will Jesus do when He comes?

  • How does 4:1 sum up what Paul wants the Philippians to do?


Understanding It

What did it mean then?

  • If somebody copied the way I actually live—not just what I say—would they move closer to Jesus?

  • What desire has the hardest time hearing me say no?

  • What gets more of my loyalty, attention, and emotion than it probably should?

  • Am I living mainly for what makes life comfortable now, or does Jesus' future actually affect my decisions today?


Let It Challenge You

What is God inviting you to notice?

  • Who are three people shaping the way I think and live right now?

  • Where are their lives actually taking them—and do I want to go there?

  • Who do I know personally whose life with Jesus is worth watching closely?

  • Who might be watching my life and learning what following Jesus looks like from me?



Live It Out

What will you do?

  • What's one influence I need to turn down because it's pulling me away from Jesus?

  • Who is one mature follower of Jesus I could intentionally spend more time around?

  • Where do I need to tell one of my desires, “You don't get to run my life”?

  • What would “stay true to the Lord” look like in one real situation I'm facing this week?




Journey Group OR ME & 3 Small Group Discussion Starters:


If you're using this guide with your Journey Group, Me & 3 group, or a few friends, don't feel like you need to work through every question. Start with something that gets people talking and then let the conversation go deeper.


Start with this one:

Who is somebody you've known personally who showed you what following Jesus actually looks like? What did you see in their life?


Then talk about this:

Paul says some people are controlled by their appetites. What are some desires our culture tells us we should never have to say no to?


Go a little deeper:

What competes hardest for a Christian's loyalty today—money, politics, comfort, career, family, personal freedom, something else? Why?


And finish here:

If somebody followed your example for the next five years, where would your life take them?


Don't answer that one too quickly.


Remember This

Everybody follows somebody. Follow people who are following Jesus—and live so others can follow your example.


Your citizenship belongs to Jesus' Kingdom. Your desires don't get to be your god. This life isn't the whole story. Jesus is coming, resurrection is ahead, and He has the power to finish what He started.


So stay true to Him.

Sum It Up


Paul isn't asking Christians to become people who angrily point at everyone going the wrong direction. He writes these words with tears because he knows roads have destinations, and he cares where people end up.


So he tells the Philippians to pay attention to the people they're following and to the direction of their own lives. Don't let your desires run the show. Don't build your whole life around what you can get right now. Don't give your deepest loyalty to a country, career, political tribe, comfort, money, or even a religious leader.


Jesus is Lord.


Our citizenship is with His Kingdom, and we're waiting for the King to return—not to throw creation away, but to finish His work, defeat death, transform our broken bodies, and bring everything under His rightful rule.


Until then, Paul's instruction is remarkably simple:

Find people who are genuinely following Jesus. Walk with them. Become someone worth following. And whatever happens, stay true to the Lord.


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There is something about stepping away from the "safe structures" of the city and into the stillness of the high desert that clears the noise and lets you hear God's voice.



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The Biblical Connection:

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Here are the lyrics to the new song: Name Above Every Name



Verse 1

Let this mind be found in us,

The humble heart of Christ.

Teach us, Lord, to walk Your way,

To lay our own lives down.

Though You were the Holy One,

King above all kings,

You did not hold tightly to the glory that was Yours.


Chorus

Jesus, You came down to lift us up.

Jesus, You gave everything in love.

We will bow, we will sing,You alone are King.

Jesus Christ is Lord forever.


Verse 2

You chose the servant's place,

You came in flesh like us.

You walked the road of suffering, Faithful to the Father.

You obeyed unto the cross,

Bearing all our shame.

Love was written on the nails,

Mercy called our name.


Chorus

Jesus, You came down to lift us up.

Jesus, You gave everything in love.

We will bow, we will sing, You alone are King.

Jesus Christ is Lord forever.


Bridge

God has raised You high above all,

Given You the highest name.

Every knee will bow before You,

Every tongue Your praise proclaim.

Heaven, earth, and all creation

Will declare what now we know:

Jesus Christ is Lord forever,

To the Father's glory shown.


Final Chorus

Jesus, You came down to lift us up.

Jesus, You gave everything in love.

Every heart, every voice,

Now will all rejoice.

Jesus Christ is Lord forever.


Tag

Jesus Christ is Lord.

Jesus Christ is Lord.

To the glory of the Father.

Jesus Christ is Lord.


 
 
 

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