Kindness & Goodness are How People Experience Your Faith
- Thad DeBuhr
- 27 minutes ago
- 10 min read
Fruit of the Spirit - Day 3
PEOPLE REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL
Most of us can probably remember a moment when someone treated us with unexpected kindness.
Maybe it was during a hard season. Maybe you were exhausted, embarrassed, grieving, stressed, or struggling quietly, and someone noticed.
Noticed your pain. Spoke gently. Listened carefully. Made room for you.Showed compassion when they didn’t have to.
And even years later, you still remember it. Why? Because kindness leaves fingerprints on people’s hearts.
But most of us can also remember the opposite.
A harsh comment.A cold attitude.A judgmental interaction. Someone who claimed to follow Jesus… but made Jesus harder to see, not easier.
That matters more than we sometimes realize.
Because for many people, faith is not first experienced through theology books, podcasts, sermons, or arguments online.
It is experienced through people.
Through tone. Through compassion. Through patience. Through integrity. Through kindness. That’s why kindness and goodness matter so deeply in the Christian life.
Kindness is how faith feels to other people. Goodness is the deeper character underneath it.
And when the Holy Spirit begins changing someone from the inside out, faith slowly becomes visible in the way they treat people.
As you go through the study guide, I would suggest reading or listening to the Bible passages in two different bible translations from this list: NIV, NLT, NASB, ESV, NKJV
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Setting the scene:
When Paul wrote the book of Galatians, the churches there were struggling deeply with division, pride, comparison, and religious performance.
Some people believed spirituality was mainly about:
following rules
appearing moral
defending religious identity
looking spiritually impressive
But Paul points them somewhere much deeper.
In Galatians 5:22, he writes:
“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…” (NLT)
Notice the language Paul uses: Fruit. Fruit grows slowly. Naturally. Over time.
You cannot force fruit onto a tree. Healthy roots produce it.
And Paul says the Holy Spirit produces these qualities in people whose lives are being transformed by God. That matters because kindness and goodness are not simply personality traits. Some people are naturally outgoing. Some are naturally warm. Some are naturally gentle. But biblical kindness and goodness go much deeper than personality.
These are qualities that begin reshaping how someone treats people, responds under pressure, handles conflict, and reflects the heart of God in everyday life.
And in the ancient Roman world, this kind of life stood out dramatically.
The Roman Empire valued:
status
power
dominance
public image
social rank
But Jesus introduced a completely different way of living:
caring for outsiders
serving quietly
loving enemies
moving toward broken people
showing dignity to overlooked people
Early Christians became known for unusual compassion in the ancient world.
Historians and scholars like N.T. Wright and Craig Keener often point out that the early church gained attention because of how believers treated people others ignored.
Their faith became visible relationally.
🧭 WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT IN THE LESSON
One of the biggest ideas in this lesson is this:
“Kindness is theology lived out loud.”
A person can:
know Scripture deeply
defend doctrine passionately
win arguments online
sound spiritually impressive
…and still consistently leave people feeling:
small
wounded
exhausted
unseen
That disconnect matters. Because truth without kindness often pushes people away from Jesus instead of toward Him. The Gospel changes not only what we believe. It changes how we treat people.
✝️ JESUS AND ZACCHAEUS — KINDNESS MOVED FIRST
One of the clearest examples of this is found in Luke 19. Jesus enters the city of Jericho and encounters a man named Zacchaeus. Zacchaeus was a tax collector. That meant he worked for Rome, collected money from his own people, and likely became wealthy by overcharging others. Most Jewish people viewed tax collectors as traitors and thieves.
Zacchaeus was not admired. He was rejected.
When Jesus arrived, people probably expected Him to ignore Zacchaeus completely.
Instead, Jesus stopped beneath the tree Zacchaeus had climbed and called him by name.
Then Jesus did something even more surprising.
He invited Himself to Zacchaeus’ house.
That may not sound dramatic to modern readers, but in Jewish culture, sharing a meal communicated:
welcome
relationship
acceptance
dignity
Jesus publicly moved toward someone everyone else avoided.
And notice: Jesus showed kindness before Zacchaeus changed.
That kindness did not remove truth. But it created space for transformation.
After encountering Jesus:
Zacchaeus repents
restores stolen money
changes direction completely
Sometimes people open their hearts to truth because they first experience compassion.
🌱 GOODNESS IS DEEPER THAN “BEING NICE”
The lesson then shifted from kindness into goodness.
These two fruits are connected, but they are not identical.
Kindness is often what people feel from us. Goodness is the deeper character underneath those actions.
Jesus says in Luke 6:35:
“Love your enemies! Do good to them… for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked.” (NLT)
That verse is challenging because it pushes goodness beyond convenience.
Anyone can be kind when:
people agree with them
relationships are easy
appreciation is guaranteed
But goodness shows up most clearly when there is no reward.
Goodness is who you are:
when nobody notices
when helping costs something
when integrity would be easier to compromise
when the right thing is inconvenient
Goodness is not image management. It is character.
A good person:
serves quietly
tells the truth honestly
treats people fairly
keeps their word
acts with integrity privately and publicly
And according to Scripture, this kind of goodness is produced by the Holy Spirit over time.
📚 THE PRODIGAL SON — THE GOODNESS OF GOD MOVES FIRST
One of the clearest pictures of goodness in Scripture appears in Luke 15.
Jesus tells the story of a younger son who:
demands his inheritance early
dishonors his father
wastes everything
destroys his life
Eventually, broken and ashamed, he decides to return home. But he expects rejection. Instead, Jesus says the Father runs toward him. That detail mattered deeply in first-century Jewish culture. Older men did not normally run publicly. Doing so lowered social dignity.
But the father runs anyway. Why? Because goodness moves toward restoration.
The father:
embraces first
restores first
welcomes first
This story gives us a picture of the heart of God. God is not eager to humiliate people.He moves toward restoration.
❤️ KINDNESS AND GOODNESS NEED EACH OTHER
One of the dangers in modern Christianity is separating kindness and goodness.
Some people emphasize kindness so heavily that they avoid truth completely.
Others emphasize truth so heavily that they become harsh, argumentative, and difficult to be around.
But Jesus modeled both:
grace and truth
compassion and honesty
mercy and holiness
Kindness without goodness becomes shallow approval.
Goodness without kindness becomes self-righteous harshness.
Healthy spiritual maturity holds both together.
🌎 PEOPLE EXPERIENCE GOD THROUGH PEOPLE
This may be one of the most important ideas in the entire lesson:
For many people, their understanding of Christianity comes less from sermons…and more from interactions with Christians.
That means:
our tone matters
our reactions matter
our treatment of people matters
our compassion matters
our integrity matters
Your kindness may become someone’s first glimpse of Jesus.
And your goodness may become evidence that your faith is actually real.
REMEMBER THIS: The fruit of the Spirit reflects the character of Jesus becoming visible through His people.
❤️ THE KINDNESS OF GOD LEADS PEOPLE TOWARD CHANGE
Romans 2:4 says:
“Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you?” (NLT)
Paul says God’s kindness leads people toward repentance.
That matters because many people assume change only happens through:
shame
pressure
harshness
humiliation
But Scripture repeatedly shows that God’s kindness creates space for transformation.
That does not mean truth disappears. It means truth is carried by compassion.
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Why We Look at "Wrong" and "Right" Applications
Kindness and goodness are often misunderstood.
Some people think kindness means:
avoiding hard conversations
tolerating unhealthy behavior
never confronting sin
becoming passive
Others focus so heavily on morality and truth that they become:
cold
sarcastic
combative
self-righteous
Both approaches miss the heart of Jesus.
That’s why context matters.
The goal is not merely becoming “nice.”The goal is becoming more like Jesus.
❌ APPLYING IT WRONG
“Kindness Means Never Speaking Truth”
Jesus was compassionate, but He still confronted hypocrisy and sin clearly.
Biblical kindness changes HOW truth is delivered, not whether truth exists.
“Goodness Means Looking Spiritually Impressive”
Some people treat goodness like performance:
looking moral publicly
sounding spiritual
appearing superior
But biblical goodness grows from humility and inner transformation, not image management.
“Harshness Equals Boldness”
Some Christians confuse:
aggression
sarcasm
constant criticism
online arguments
…with spiritual courage.
But harshness often misrepresents Jesus.
“Kindness Means No Boundaries”
Jesus was compassionate, but He still maintained healthy boundaries and wisdom.
Kindness does not mean becoming a doormat.
✅ Applying it the Right Way:
Move Toward People with Compassion
Biblical kindness actively moves toward people with:
dignity
gentleness
compassion
patience
Especially people others ignore.
Let Goodness Shape Private Character
Goodness matters most when nobody notices.
Who are you becoming privately?
The Holy Spirit transforms:
motives
integrity
honesty
consistency
Not just public behavior.
Hold Truth and Grace Together
Jesus never sacrificed truth for compassion.But He also never used truth as a weapon unnecessarily.
The goal is not truth OR kindness.
It is truth WITH kindness.
Reflect the Heart of God
The fruit of the Spirit reflects the character of God becoming visible through ordinary people.
Spiritual maturity is not only about:
knowledge
information
theology
It is also about:
tenderness
compassion
mercy
integrity
goodness
Questions to Chew on and Discuss:
These questions are designed to help you personally dig deeper into the passage and help guide your discussions in your Journey Groups and Me & 3 small groups.
THE FACTS — What Does the Passage Say?
According to Galatians 5:22, where do kindness and goodness come from?
How did Jesus respond to Zacchaeus in Luke 19?
What did the father do when the prodigal son returned home?
THE MEANING — What Does It Mean?
Why do you think kindness often opens people’s hearts more effectively than harshness?
What is the difference between kindness and goodness?
Why is it important to hold truth and compassion together?
THE HEART — What Am I Hearing?
How do people usually feel after interacting with you?
Is there an area where your tone or attitude may be making Jesus harder for people to see?
Is God softening an area of harshness, pride, or self-righteousness in your life?
THE HANDS — What Will I Do?
Who is someone you can intentionally show kindness to this week?
What is one way you can practice goodness privately when nobody notices?
Is there a relationship where you need to speak truth more gently and compassionately?
Journey Group OR ME & 3 Small Group Discussion Starters:
Whether you're helping facilitate a small group, talking about this passage one-on-one with a friend, or even just need a topic to guide the conversation at the dinner table, these ideas can help start a good group conversation before you dive into the passage and questions in this study guide.
Discussion Starter # 1
Describe a moment when someone’s kindness deeply impacted your life. Why did it stay with you?
Discussion Starter # 2
Why do you think people often remember how Christians treated them more than what Christians said?
🧩 SUM IT UP
Kindness is how faith feels to other people.
Goodness is the deeper character underneath it.
And when the Holy Spirit changes us, faith stops being merely something we believe…and becomes something people actually experience through us.
The world desperately needs truth. But it also desperately needs people who reflect the heart of Jesus with:
compassion
integrity
gentleness
mercy
goodness
Because sometimes the clearest picture of God someone sees…is the way one of His people treats them.
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There is something about stepping away from the "safe structures" of the city and into the stillness of the high desert that clears the noise and lets you hear God's voice.
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